Men love to fantasize, so do women. Men love to think about stuff they will do at any one time and move on. Women love to think about things that would take care of their emotions, for as long as it is possible.
What’s a fantasy? In her book, Men in Love,
Nancy Friday describes a fantasy as a map of desire, mastery, escape, and obscuration; the navigational path we invent to steer ourselves between the reefs and shoals of anxiety, guilt, and inhibition. She adds on that it is a work of consciousness, but in reaction to unconscious pressures. Men have these fantasies every other time. Most of the fantasies are about sex. It’s a form of worship. Ever visited a guy’s room at high school of college? You will on most occasions see a colorful poster of Jlo, Monroe and many more sexy figures. Before he sleeps, after he wakes, up every time he is in the room, the image attracts his attention.
Why do men do this? The reasons are different, but the point here is that men are programmed to do this at any one time. In Genesis, God instructs man to go out, multiply and replenish the earth. Man is to take care for not only the garden, but the earth as well. This is a command not a suggestion. It only becomes a suggestion when this is reduced I to a form of sports. Some men become tourists, looking out with predatory eye waiting to devour on the innocent. Poor self control and pervertism hangs around due to influence from the media, peers, and many more. Perves are here with us.
In trying to deferential those in love from the perves, we may not notice a difference on most occasions. Valentines Day is here and many types of men will be on display, unknowingly showing off their traits. The main aim here is to get the cutest female on his side. The ladies know this. Ask any 1000 of them and 99% will tell you that they are looking for the “the man” This alpha man has qualities that any female would be looking for. Men have different tastes and attentions they look for in women and vise versa. It is the man that will choose first and if reciprocated then we have chemistry.
However, on a date like Valentine, many men come out for their cribs with different intentions, the main, of course being sex. Some will be out just to please the female others, want to cement their relationships and others just to take advantage of female emotions that would be wounded on the same day.
So how do you handle the girls? What mistakes must men avoid on this day? Here are the tips for Valentines Day for men;
- Dress for the occasion. Man initially dressed to indicate his place in society. Garments signified wealth, rank or responsibility. Such was the importance of clothing that dress codes were regulated by laws at various points in history. But with changing times, a universal truth emerged early on where young men were quick to adopt flashy, often sexually provocative garments as a means of advertising their virility. You score more points just by the way you look. You have to be on the lead to get there.
- The nails and socks. Spend some time before the mirror before going out. Trim the nails, avoid mixing the colors, especially of the socks, leave that to the boys. Clean the dirt from the nails, brush the shoes and don’t wear snickers with a suit for a valentines date.
- The beards. You must trim the shrubs by all means. And use a good aftershave. Don’t forget that you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face, chest and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, its pure avoidance.
- The body fat. Enroll in a gym. Cut down on that belly fat, by all means. Mot men have just one pack or two at most. You can’t get a 6 pack let a lone an 8 pack in a few days. This is an investment you make for months. Start now.
- Be calm. If you watched Natgeo or Animal planet feature of the King lion and other species down the food chain, the males’ sole responsibility is sex. They must propagate the species or face extinction. Please leave it to the cocks and the wild guys. Gals hate it when you concentrate down there forgetting that they have emotions to be taken care of. Leave it for the 9th date if this is your first.
- Be a gentleman. Be attentive to her, open the doors, let her into the lift first, pull chairs fro her and know how to care for her. You may give her a helping hand as she walks on slippery floor. Don’t expect the automatic to happen, women are not objects, they crave for attention, they want to be noticed, and appreciated. Don’t be a jerk.
- Complement her. That the way to her heart. Little thing will ad up. Call her; complement her on her beauty and how much she means to your life. Remind her about her cute hair, even if you have to fix a revenge mission with the hair stylist for the poor job done. It’s important to have a positive message delivered to her than a killer punch. Remember, bad complements linger in a woman’s heart for years. You have to be random on your complements. Imagine doing this every day. It will be clear that it’s not from your heart, and in fact, it becomes very boring. But doing it randomly, it becomes exiting and sends a positive message.
- The “D” factor. It’s commonly called the dangling carrot. Deny her what she wants today; surprise her tomorrow when she is not expecting it. Don’t take revenge. A story is told of a man who was denied a sensual moment by his wife. All she wanted (and they like this every so often) was to be held close and just be caressed. “I just want to feel you”, she said. One day, he took her for shopping, the best shopping mall. Told her to pick ANYTHING she liked. She did, with excitement. She had her shopping basket full. Her heart pounding with excitement. On reaching the counter for payment, he turned to her and dropped the bombshell, “All I wanted for you is to just feel the shopping, feel all you wanted to have. Then we can have a good time”. Don’t do this.
- Flowers. This is the ultimate. Have you ever walked down a street, to her work place and handed over that bouquet and a bar of chocolate? When you are in love, you will do this. Stand out from the crowd. Be different. If you know what you want, go for it.
- The touch. Never initiate any sexual passions when the signals are not there. When she wants it, you will notice. She’ll move close to you, open up to you, hold her hand around your waist, and many more. You can read them and follow up. Otherwise she will freak out; especially if it’s the first time you are dating. You may touch the shoulders, the back of her hand, it’s casual and natural. It doesn’t send an emergency call.
- Have a sense of humor. The gals love it. Top on the list of qualities of a good man for a woman is, the physique, the money and a sense of humor. Remember you want a girl for a date, not a philosopher, an activist or a student. This is no time for activism or discussions about the latest headlines o sky. It’s her time. Wow her with jokes, funny tales etc. They will laugh with you. Always smile with them. Never be too serious, you’ll scare the prey away!
- Your speech. The moment you open up your mouth, the first 150 words should sell your pitch. This is a brand you are selling remember. A branded male needs a good “elevators pitch” If you can’t do this in the first 2 minutes, your fate is sealed. Practice if you can. Use pick-up lines; some times they work, but not always.
- Keep your mother out of discussions, by all means possible. Looking up to your mother for advice, running up to them for suggestions, asking her about the date sends the gals away. It shows that you are not independent, you can make up your mind and that’s a tragedy.
- The date. Fix your eyes on her. She will know that you are not glaring at the gal next door, don’t fold your arms, as if hiding stuff. Don’t cross your legs, as if you are anxious. When walking with her, be gentle slow and don’t hurry her up. Stand erect and in good posture, confidence is needed here. Maximize on your date. You’ll reap the benefits later.
Finally go out and enjoy, be responsible, be careful be real, be logical. Don’t hurt the girls.